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How do you co-parent with someone you cannot stand?

| Aug 24, 2020 | Firm News |

Divorces are hard, especially when you and your ex-spouse do not get along at all. Despite how you may feel about your ex, your children’s needs still come first. When you need to do what is right for your children, how can you work with an ex-spouse that you cannot stand?

It may seem impossible to cooperate with your ex, but keep in mind that a divorce can have a lot of adverse effects on children. The more you do that is best for your kids, the better. Here are some tips to help you co-parent with even the most difficult of ex-spouses:

Document everything

Many arguments between ex-spouses come from disagreements over facts. From how many times they were late to pickups or drop-offs to how much you spend on clothes for the kids, make sure that you have proof of everything in your parenting to eliminate any chance of fruitless arguments.

Prioritize your children

It may be hard for you to be in the same room as your ex, but it probably is not for your children. Children have better chances of developing into better adults when both parents are involved, so do not let your feelings get in the way of your children seeing your ex.

Do not insult your ex-spouse

While you may want to speak your mind about your ex-spouse, please do not do it in front of your children. Children often see themselves as one-half of each of their parents, and to hear you insult their other parent can backfire and cause them to feel bad about themselves. It may also cause them to resent you or the other parent, so be sure you are not promoting a lousy relationship with your children.

Keep a custody calendar

A calendar of who gets visitation of the children at what times can reduce additional communication between ex-spouses. Planning can also eliminate disputes based on confusion about whose weekend it is with the kids.

Use third-party help

In some cases, the relationship between ex-spouses can be so severe that they need third-party assistance is necessary. A typical example of this is third-party child transfer locations. These are designated places where a parent will drop off the children and leave, and the other parent will arrive soon after to pick up their children. This way, neither parent can interact with the other during the exchange.

Stay strong

Interacting with a bad ex-spouse can be extremely hard, but no matter how hard it may seem, make sure you are doing right by your children. Take come extra measures to make co-parenting easier for you and your children.